This trip made me realize so much, how you’ve become such an asset to me and how you’ve turned into my routine. Truly and honestly I couldn’t do it and with that comes pros and cons. Yet the cons I’m not keen about because with knowing that this is more than just lust, it’s going to be so painful to let this go. I’ve become so attached to you that even the slightest change has become this HUGE DEAL with me. I can’t do a weekend without you knowing that I’ll have a night mare and wake up to an empty spot beside me. I don’t even want to open my eyes when the sunshine starts to seep through my eyelids because no matter how beautiful it is outside there’s still the most important thing missing… you. I been through this so many times before but this, this is oddly different and familiar from anything else. Different because this isn’t just another fling type thing that I’ve been through before and familiar because this is something I thought I locked away almost 4 years ago never to be felt again. I don’t want to fall because I don’t want to hurt the way I did back then, I don’t want to fall apart like I did and feel my world come crashing down like it did 4 years ago. Simply put I don’t want you to be my past, I just want to keep it at today and let this moment stop so that I don’t have to risk another tomorrow.
I just don’t ever want to risk losing this or you, I ... KB
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