Torn - letoya

Krispy kreme,
I hope you can still read right through the lines and see that I do still care.
I want you to know that if I could I'd do it right...

Please just one favor, dont lock me out.

Sunday Morning - maroon 5

This trip made me realize so much, how you’ve become such an asset to me and how you’ve turned into my routine. Truly and honestly I couldn’t do it and with that comes pros and cons. Yet the cons I’m not keen about because with knowing that this is more than just lust, it’s going to be so painful to let this go. I’ve become so attached to you that even the slightest change has become this HUGE DEAL with me. I can’t do a weekend without you knowing that I’ll have a night mare and wake up to an empty spot beside me. I don’t even want to open my eyes when the sunshine starts to seep through my eyelids because no matter how beautiful it is outside there’s still the most important thing missing… you. I been through this so many times before but this, this is oddly different and familiar from anything else. Different because this isn’t just another fling type thing that I’ve been through before and familiar because this is something I thought I locked away almost 4 years ago never to be felt again. I don’t want to fall because I don’t want to hurt the way I did back then, I don’t want to fall apart like I did and feel my world come crashing down like it did 4 years ago. Simply put I don’t want you to be my past, I just want to keep it at today and let this moment stop so that I don’t have to risk another tomorrow.

I just don’t ever want to risk losing this or you, I ... KB

Victoria take two (successful - trey songs & drake)

I needed this, a little getaway from the city life. Maybe it was about time I cleared my mind and put all my priorities in order. All the stress from school, friends, and family were beginning to eat away at me. Sometimes it hits me why I can’t be so perfect and be the pride and joy rather than just another comparison to the rest of the family and all their achievements. Just because I choose to live my life before I lock myself up in another eternity of school I’m getting put down. It’s been this constant issue with school and how I don’t know what I want to become and automatically I’m again being put down for not knowing what I want to base my entire future on just yet, for heavens sake I’m just a teenager I still want to see the world and who really gets a chance to see the world after school without having to worry about work, or kids, or any other commitments.

On another note I feel as if I’m being pulled in a million different directions … I noticed that I’ve been completely M.I.A from a ton of people yet at the same time life still keeps pilling up with all these things as well I’m the one who’s got to be left feeling like shit because I haven’t been around to party or to do the usual things that I used to do. No matter what I do nothing seems right and I’m trying to be superwoman at 17. Hopefully when I get back the world goes easy on me because I’m so ready to crack even with the slightest movement.