vibin'

I'm stuck in a bit of a pickle, trying to regain my balance with all aspects of my life. Yet it's hard when your caught stuck in the past, present, and future all at once. It's like trying to move on when you know your stuck living from yesterday. As well on a side note I know whats wrong for me but I can't muster up the courage to just get up and go, I triped and fell flat on my face for a dude who's NOTHING like my "typical". I can make a list of reasons NOT to pursue it yet, it's those same reasons that seem to draw me in. I'm magnetized by his "dope boy" ora lol shits just surreal and I dont know how to pull away. I keep being told he's no good. yet in my mind all that I know is that he's so good. As well to top it off, my comfort level around him is at perfection which I find strangely unfamiliar when just getting to know someone. All I know is that I dont want him to be just ANOTHER guy again, the same GUY that get my spirits up one day and leaves me crying the next cause I'm tiiiiiiiirrrreeeeeeed, this is it for the summer. If this screws up I'm taking a LONG ASS BREAK. Oh and, I know I got a good boy around but I can't help but push him away ... why can't I just do it right for once and stick to the good guy instead of making life harder and tryna' change a bad boy.